Well hello world; long time no see. It has been two years since I last posted on here. This past year for us has been a doozy and sometimes it's good for me to write things down so I can process them better.
So, without further ado, join me on a little jaunt through our 2024.
Our year did not start out very well, I am afraid to report. I suppose it should have been a sign for what the rest of the year had in store.
JUNE:
December 30th, we moved out of our little apartment that we had called home for the last four years, to a bigger one about 15 minutes down the road. Although we were so excited for more space (and a bedroom for the kids to have their own room!) it was oh so very bittersweet. That little place was home. I still miss our days there and thank God for such a blessed four years within those walls.
The night we moved it we were hit with the worst stomach bug I have ever experienced. Kate had had it about 4 days prior but when no one else became sick we went ahead with our plans to move. No sooner did everyone head home after a long day of helping us move, did we all topple down like dominos. Josiah went down first. Then Gideon. Then myself. (I was also 6.5 months pregnant with our third baby at this time as well). Let's just say there was very little sleep that first night in our new home. It took many days for us all to even be able to get out of bed. I shiver at the thought of that sickness and I still get severely stressed whenever I hear a stomach bug is prowling around.
We slowly healed physically but no sooner did my body heal, my heart was broken in two. My Grandpa passed away on January 26, 2024, and I felt completely shattered. I cried for days straight. It was exhausting and draining. As the one-year anniversary of his Heaven Day nears, I still miss him with every ounce of my being. He was the world's best Grandpa.
Go rest high, Grandpa. I'll see you in the morning.
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| Grandpa and me in 1996 |
With the unexpected passing of Grandpa family all over the country began traveling to New Hampshire to be with Grandma and say their final goodbyes to Grandpa. Almost all of my family made it and for that I am so grateful! Sadly, I was not one of them. I was the only one of my dad's children that didn't make it and I will admit it was extremely hard to be left behind. The day of his funeral we went to my parent's house to stream it. The live stream quit before it was over, so I wasn't able to watch the entire thing. That was hard. If you know me, you know I use cleaning as a sort of therapy. So, I spent that entire day cleaning my brother and sister-in-law's house as a surprise for them when they returned home. I pushed my pregnant body a little too hard and by the end of the day I broke down. I am so thankful God blessed me with such an amazing husband who knows how to calm me down and help me through hard moments. That evening we had supper at my (other) Grandpa's and step-Grandma's house. They have no idea how much it meant to be invited over that night.
FEBRUARY:
The second month of the year saw a lot more tears. Grieving and adjusting to our new home wasn't easy. We also were hit with a week+ long snow and ice storm that stranded us home for what felt like an eternity! But we made the most of those days by playing games, listening to odyssey's, doing puzzles, baking, and preparing for our baby that was due to arrive the end of April.
MARCH:
The third month arrived and so did the sun! Although it was still very cold.
We just spent this month close to home. Buying and preparing for baby and counting down the minutes until we got to see their sweet face and learn their name.
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| Easter 2024 |
APRIL:
The long awaited birth month arrived! I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore. I had a lot of different pains and contractions for a long time, but baby decided to make us keep waiting.
I was due April 22nd. Josiah turned 30 on the 19th. By the time I turned 28 on the 24th, baby still had not arrived. It was pretty discouraging for me who had my last two babies early.
But, finally, on April 25th the waiting came to an end.
Our third baby and second daughter arrived safely at home, on April 25, 2024. We were over the moon and Kate was so excited to get a baby sister.
We named her Ruth Ann. Our precious Ruthie.
Ruth was, and still is, an absolute dream baby. She eats great. Sleeps great. She's all smiles and giggles and has been a joy to have join our family.
Although postpartum always comes with ups and downs this time around was by far my best experience and I thank God every day for it.
MAY:
The fifth month of the year was mostly spent at home or my parents. Taking the newborn days slowly. Those were the best days of this year.
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| Mother's Day 2024 |
Ruthie continued to grow and be the apple of everyone's eye.
My cousin married Josiah's cousin at the end of June and Josiah had the honor of standing in their wedding. It was nice to be able to attend as well as see a lot of out-of-town family. Including my Grandma! I also love when Josiah gets to see his loved ones.
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| Fathers Day 2024 |
JULY:
The seventh month of the year turned out to be the calm before the storm. It was at the end of July that Kate developed what appeared to be an innocent cough and Ruth turned 3 months old.
We spent one month of the summer this year enjoying all the summer activities. We went to the zoo, went fishing, and also went to the county fair (beginning of August).
Such sweet memories. Especially the zoo. I remember feeling so happy and refreshed after that day. The kids did so well and had so much fun. I am so thankful God gave us that day.
This month. I think this month will be etched in my mind for the rest of my life. It was NOT a good month.
On August 8th we joined my family at the county fair. Kate had been coughing for about two weeks and that day it had seemed to be a little bit worse. I was worried but tried to brush it away.
That night, August 9th, Kate had an attack. It woke me in a panic hearing her gasping and gagging, trying to breath but unable to. We went back to bed pretty shaken once the attack ended. But, a couple hours later, she had another one. We brought her in bed with us. Again, another attack. I knew, in my gut, something wasn't right. No normal virus does this.
We stayed home from church that day and watched her. She appeared fine.
That night we were again, up frequently throughout the night rushing to Kate's room to try and get her to breathe.
And the next night. I couldn't do it anymore, so we took her into urgent care. Long story short, Kate was diagnosed with whooping cough. We all got symptoms, but Kate was the worst because we let her cough for so long before taking her in. Next was me. I felt it coming on, but I didn't want to admit it, so I didn't say anything for about 5 days before getting on antibiotics. Gideon was put on them day 2 of symptoms. Josiah, day one.
Praise the Lord, He spared Ruth of any visible symptoms, and she was completely okay through all this. But that didn't stop my intense fear. I have never experienced anything like the month of August in my entire life. If I didn't have an official nervous breakdown, it was close enough. Time stood still. Days and nights ran together as I sat up holding Kate all night as she stopped breathing, rubbing oils and Lobelia on her throat and back to get her to breathe again. One night she had eleven attacks.
I had nightmares. I (apparently) thrashed in my sleep. I couldn't eat. I lost 6 pounds in 5 days from stress. I cried, sobbed actually, for a week straight. I fell to my knees, literally, all day every day. Begging God to spare Ruth and Gideon of the attacks and to please take Kate's away. I was sick myself and coughed so badly I would wake in the night almost puking.
And Ruth. My sweet tiny 3-month-old baby girl. She was a complete angel through all of this. Already a good baby, she stayed happy and smiley. All while I kept my distance, wore a mask whenever I held her, and watched her like a hawk. Because I was sick, I made sure to not hold her unless I had to for the five days I was on antibiotics. Then I was considered "no longer contagious". The worst five days of my life. Ruth spent most of those days in the highchair, watching us all. Not being loved on. And my mama heart broke. I missed her so bad, and I felt like a horrible mother not being able to kiss and hold her. I missed almost her entire 3rd month and there's very little pictures of her during that time. I could cry just thinking about it.
Through this nightmare God allowed me to be broken so I could fully trust in Him. It was hard. Really hard. But that month taught me so much about God, His grace, and allowed me to feel His Holy presence in my home. God never felt so far away and then, never so close.
I wouldn't wish experiencing what we did on my worst enemy. But praise Jesus we were healed and have come out the other side mostly better. Kate still coughs, 4 months later (coughing since July), sadly. She can't run, laugh, eat or drink anything cold, or catch a simple virus without having coughing fits. Sometimes still gagging from the intense coughing. But the attacks are gone. For that we are forever grateful.
Sadly, I now struggle with extreme fear of sickness. I was already an overly anxious Mom whenever I heard a virus went around, but now I physically respond to seeing or hearing about any sort of sickness. I'll see a random reel on social media about someone being sick and I start to black out and lose my vision. I spend a lot of my days praying myself through panic attacks.
If you think of it, maybe say a little prayer for me? My mind is still so broken. Yet my heart is so grateful for our health and for Jesus.
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| Kate holding Ruth for the first time in weeks! |
SEPTEMBER:
Barely "well" from the previous month, September saw us flying to New Hampshire for Josiah's sister's wedding. Although my nerves were still very shot from the weeks prior, it was still a blessed time. I am so thankful God allowed us to be able to attend the wedding and visit family.
I visited my Grandpa's grave. That was hard. But also very good for me.
This month my brother also welcomed his second baby boy! We were 3,000 miles away and I couldn't wait until we got to meet him.
Auntie loves you Cylas.
*pictures posted out of order*
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| Kiddos had so much fun with their cousin Reagan |
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| Ruth and cousin Judah |
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| Josiah's childhood home (where his brother now lives) |
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| I love seeing Josiah in his old haunts! And he had so much fun showing the kids all the places and things he used to do as a little boy. |
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| Kiddos with my Grandma. Love her! Was so special to watch my kids interact with their great-Grandma. |
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| Josiah and his Mama |
The rest of the year has been pretty "uneventful" praise the Lord. We've just been staying close to home, thanking God for his blessings, and enjoying my favorite season: Autumn.
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| Ruthie turned 6 months! Time is a thief. |
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| Our 3 pumpkins |
NOVEMBER
The eleventh month of the year! We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family, Ruth learned how to crawl, and our biggest girl Kate Marie turned 5 years old. We celebrated with family and a ladybug themed party!
Josiah's Dad had a heart attack this month and it was a pretty scary time. But by God's grace he pulled through and is thankfully now on the recovery side of it and surgery.
We are so thankful we were able to see him in September before it happened.
DECEMBER:
Christmas time is a comin! This month we've just been doing all the Christmas things. Shopping. Eating goodies. Decorating. Found the perfect Christmas tree.
We can't wait for Christmas morning.
Our Gideon Karl also turned 3. How? I don't know.
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KATE:
Our Kate is now five years old and quite the little lady. She loves all things girly and is a huge help with watching her younger siblings for me.
She's learning to read and is such a smart little thing. School is so fun for her though we haven't officially started kindergarten. I hope to do that within the new year. She is so excited and so am I! Kate loves to learn and picks up things very quickly. Prayers for us all as we journey into this new phase of motherhood: homeschooling.
Kate loves to sing, draw, paint, and create crafts. Her hero is Laura Ingalls. Her memory is amazing. And she loves to talk. She is wise beyond her years and often tells me "It's okay mama. Just take a deep breath". Her heart is so precious. We love her.
GIDEON:
Ah. My boy. He's just that. All boy. At 3 Gideon is a smart little fellow who loves to spend time with Daddy, Grandpa, and tease his sisters. Sometimes a little too much teasing. But, he also has a sweet gentle heart that often comes to give me a hug and let me know "I love you Mama. It was a good day".
Gideon loves dinosaurs. Like loves them. Pretty funny actually. He also loves to build things with blocks, stack anything he can, and recently started loving to color and draw.
He can sing the alphabet, count to 10 (up to 20 with help), and knows almost all his letters by sight and sound.
We just love our little man.
RUTH:
Ruth. Ruth Ann. Ruthie. Ruthie Ann. Princess. Pumpkin. Baby girl.
Our youngest has us all wrapped around her dimpled fingers. We just love her to pieces. She has the brightest blue eyes, the sweetest smile, and the cutest dimpled cheek she got from Daddy.
Ruthie is such a happy baby and is almost always smiling or laughing. She can crawl and loves to get in everything. She digs in my drawers, climbs up the stairs, and will stand herself up in a squatting position.
She loves to yell and chase after her big siblings, her brother being her favorite. But she is also a Mama's girl and gets so excited whenever I come around. I love it.
She sleeps so well. Eats well. And growing way too fast. My little baby isn't my tiny newborn anymore. It's going way too fast.
As for me and Josiah, we will be celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary next month. It's crazy. It feels like a day but also a lifetime.
Josiah is still working in finish carpentry and always has a new hobby to try out. I love how he isn't afraid to try something new and dives deep into all of them, learning as much as he can.
He's my best friend and I fall in love with him more every day. I wouldn't have been able to make it through this year without him. When I am worked up, he is calm. When I'm sad, he lets me cry and reassures me everything will be ok. Always pointing me to Jesus and Heavenward. I couldn't have asked for a better partner in this life.
And so, ends a summary of our year. It has been a year full of many things. Birth. Death. Sickness. Health. Happiness. Sadness.
But through it all one thing has remained the same: Jesus Christ. Through all the many trials and emotions Jesus has been ever present. Sometime quietly. Sometimes so close I could physically feel Him. For that I say thank you Lord.
May you all feel His love this Christmas season as we remember the birth of His son and the gift of eternal life.
With love and God's peace,
Felicity w/ mine.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16