I'll always remember // september 7, 2007

your life on earth was hard

so much pain you bared

but oh the joy that you gave

and oh the love you shared

your time here is through

you have done your best

you fought the weary fight

and now it's time to rest

the angels came to your side

and took your hand in theirs

they whispered, come my child

climb the golden stairs

you have finished your course

your work here is done

join the band on Jordan's shore

with the Father's Son

no more pain will you feel

within your body sore

run and leap and sing for joy

sorrow is no more

- Felicity Estola

 

the mind of a child // P O E T R Y

 

I have a question, just one or two

Can you answer them for me?

I promise they aren't long or hard

There are just a few, you'll see

The sun disappeared today

Where did it go?

Does it sleep beneath the clouds?

Until the rooster crow?

Where do the stars hide

When the sky is bright and blue?

If you know would you share

What is right and real and true?

Where does tomorrow go 

When it is over and done?

Does it run and hide somewhere

For it never seems to come

Can I hold sunshine in my hand?

I wonder, do you know?
What makes the apple red
and why does the turtle walk slow?

Will I be strong and wise

when it is my turn to grow 

Must I truly sit here and wait 

until it begins to show?

Perhaps if I close my eyes
the time will go by, you see
I'll think real hard of being tall
and count up to three
- Felicity Estola

there's a friend that I know // P O E T R Y

there's a friend that I know

He's never far away 

He always holds my hand 

when my life begins to sway

there's a friend that I know

He lives right here inside

when I'm lost in my fright

He's where I run to hide

this friend never speaks out loud

but I've heard His voice you see

It blows in the wind across 

the ever standing tree 

I have never felt His arms 

grasp me to His side

But His love has kept me warm

through the soft sunshine 

there's a friend that I know

He loves me despite

all the times I have left Him 

and all the times I didn't do right 

His kisses feel like tear drops

as they heal my hurt inside

and no matter how hard life is

I'm glad He's on this ride

- Felicity Estola

I pray Thee take my hand // P O E T R Y

 

I pray Thee take my hand

I know not where to go

down this road or up the lane

please I ask you, show

guide my steps that I may take 

the ones that You designed 

show me the wondrous light ahead

a path of pure sublime

whither Thou goest I wish to go

please don't leave my side

hold me close and keep me safe

till I reach Jordan's tide 

- Felicity Estola

the places I have been // cihldhood memories // P O E T R Y

 the places I have been

lilacs and clover 

all blooming and green 

blue skies and sunshine 

dew drops and moon beam 

green plums and salt

I'll fly away to heaven

honeysuckles and buttercups

around the house seven 

through a pathway of dirt 

with walls of corn stock 

hiding in the squash leaves 

a shiny new rock 

puppies and baby goats

catch them if you can 

new sandles that can go slap 

voices in the fan 

races up the old fir tree

who do you think 

will reach the top before the other

faster than a blink

dirt between small toes

sawdust in your eye

wood to stack and wood to cut

the kitten too shy

old Betsy from the rafters

pies from the fire

cowboys on horseback 

eggs in the old tire 

these are what make memories

so cherished deep within

these are what make me who I am 

oh the places I have been

- Felicity Estola

I remember // Christmas memories // a poem from my heart

I remember Christmas candy

In bowls of red and green

I remember "the Christmas penny"

Hidden to be unseen

I remember Grandma's Christmas globe

On the table she stood

Painted lambs and pretty trees

Made to look of wood

She sang a Christmas carol

When twined to be just right

Shepherds gathered round her feet

To behold the wondrous sight

I remember Christmas music

On the big old stereo

Loretta Lynn and Kitty Wells

Sang of days long ago

I remember Christmas cookies

All laid out so neat

Bowls of colored frosting set about

A gooey mixture too sweet

I remember the Christmas Story

The one that should always be told

Grandpa's voice softly whispered

"Fear not, for behold"

"Unto you a son is given"

A line I shall always remember

Grandpa's voice etched in my mind

One I shall recall each and every December

I remember family gathered all about

Playmates of yester-years

We'd play games like "big and little"

And go against our fears

I remember Christmas dinner

Potatoes, gravy, and ham

Olives placed on each finger

Rolls and squishy candied yam

Pickles placed upon the platter

We'd wait and watch and see

Who would mistake the sweet for sour

Tossing it back to flee

I remember laughter

Love and Joy and Peace

Warmth of family filled the home

Aunt and Uncle and Niece

I remember Christmas of my childhood

Days that are forever gone

But ones I will always remember

Until the victory is won 

- Felicity Estola



Forever // P O E T R Y

If forever lasted longer

Than forever truly be

I'd want to spend forever

Together, you and me

If life was a river

Ever flowing to the sky

I'd want to sail it with you

To the sweet by and by 

If love could be measured

And spread for eyes to see

Mine would pour from deep within

And fill the roaring sea

If forever lasted longer

Than forever truly be

I'd want to spend forever

Together, you and me

- Felicity Estola

 

The Rain // P O E T R Y

  

 The Rain

Gently falling towards the earth

I clense the air so clean

To make afresh the world for you
 To keep her bright and green

Sometimes it's forgotten

 I, too, have a purpose
 Without me no life would become

And all would be filled with darkness

 
I give drink to those who thirst
 I cool the heat of sun

I wash away what is hurt

And prepare for days to come

- Felicity Estola

The Mountain // P O E T R Y

 The Mountain

High above the world I stand

Mighty and tall

I hold my secrets deep within

Behind my hidden wall 

Before your eyes I break the sky

I wear a robe of white

I dazzle pink within the sun

Behold! Oh, a sight!

Within my presence, a peace is felt

As none can ever find

Close your eyes; breathe my whispers

Find a peace of mind 

 I spread my shadow far below
Covering all I see
I hide your fears and for a moment
I am here for thee

I am a symbol of strength
Of someone I have known
He placed me here upon this earth
To grace His mighty throne
-Felicity Estola


Lord, this is me // P O E T R Y

Lord, this is me

Lord, this is me, here I am again

I have not come to cry or ask you "just when"?

Too many times I have fallen down upon my knees

Lashing out in earnest fears, sending you my pleas

Why Lord? When? Where are you now?

Send me my desires. Before you I bow

I trust in You oh Lord, may my dreams come true?

Your my all in all oh Lord; is my waiting through?

Too many times I have begged, crying tearless cries

Turning to You for my wants, begging You my "why's?"

Patiently you listened, waiting for my heart

To turn from my selfish ways, from them I must part

Lord, this is me, here I am again

I'm on my knees, as before, but to you this I send

You are my all in all, nothing more I need

Guide me through this journey; by my hand take lead

 

You know better, oh my Lord; You know best 

Upon you I may slumber; upon you I rest
Your way is the right way, Your way is what I need
Let my heart be filled with peace, oh Lord this I plead

- Felicity Estola

Oh Tomorrow // P O E T R Y

We all have those "what about tomorrow" questions. I have. Especially lately. Though I know my life is in God's hands and His plan is perfect, sometimes we all just need to ask questions. Questions that can't be answered, but need to be asked just the same. 

Oh Tomorrow

Oh tomorrow, when will we ever meet?

When shall the sky clear and with you I will greet?

I wonder who you are and what you have in store

What hides behind your curtains; what awaits upon the shore

Will there be happiness for me some glorious day?

Will my dreams come true? Oh tomorrow, what will you say?

I have waited so long, I almost give up hope

I get tired of climbing this sometimes steep slope

Oh tomorrow, I know we will meet when our time is due

I must live for today, for you'll come when today is through

I'm sorry for my impatience, I'll try to be still

To remember you will come when it is His will

- Felicity Estola



Bedtime Poem // P O E T R Y

It's funny how poems seem to have a life of their own.

I started this one almost exactly a year ago and never completed it. This morning I found it again, changed a few words, added an ending, and it become something completely different than what I had originally planned.
It's been a long time since I've written a poem! I thought it was high time I shared another.

Bedtime Poem
 

Come my child, it’s time to sleep, the day is nearly ore

 The sun has gone to bed you see and playing is no more

Gather all your toys away, be sure to put them right!

Now scamper in to bed my dear, I’ll tuck you in real tight 

Games are done for today; no more silly songs

Your trains are on their shelf, and Teddy is where he belongs

No more giggling little one, the night has finely come

Don’t you pout my child, don’t you look so glum

Now bow your head and close your eyes, it’s time to breathe a prayer

To cast away your burdens and give away your care

For God is always listening, in the day and in the night

Remember to ask Him how to walk and to always do what’s right 

Here’s your special blanket, Mama washed it just today

Hold it close to your cheek and remember what I say

That Jesus love you always and watches over you

I’ll see you in the morrow my child, when the sun dries the dew

- Felicity Estola

The First Gift // P O E T R Y

 The First Gift

December 2014

Snowflakes are falling; stars are twinkling bright

The land sparkles gently in the moons soft light

Children laugh merrily as on their sleds they sail

Across the hills and through the valley their joy leaves a trail

It’s Christmas time again; family gathers round

In the stillness of the night, carols send their sound

Presents are wrapped beneath that great tree so green

A more beautiful tree no one has ever seen

Little ones sit round Grandpa’s knee, as he reads the story of old

The one read every year, though never too many times told

The story of that babe who was born far across the sea

A gift from the Lord above, given for you and for me

That precious child was born on the first Christmas day

Sweetly his Mother laid him upon his bed of hay

So remember why we have Christmas at this time every year

It’s a remembrance of that first gift we all hold so dear
- Felicity Estola

The Forgotten Town // P O E T R Y

I have always loved ghost towns, and the idea they would have a story to tell if only they could. We recently got a book from the library filled with pictures of some, and it got my imagination going.

The Forgotten Town

 

As I wandered through the hills, behold what my eyes met

Upon the wind I heard a whisper “Please, don’t forget”

I once was tall and proud, my heart was filled with song

I stood great above the world, I was mighty and strong

My windows shone with light, my doors were open wide
upon my floors feet were trod and laughter from inside
Now I sit still and quiet; my life has gone away
Upon the earth I stand alone, silently I stay

My curtains flutter in the wind, no one care anymore
A doll lies upon her bed, a quilt upon the floor
Mama has left her dishes unwashed beside the sink
A world far from what you know, I hold a small link

Grandfather has left his glasses lying beside his chair 

His Bible rests upon the stand with a forgotten prayer

My church bell no longer chimes to call my children in

I hold my secrets in my heart and my tales deep within

I can no longer speak to you, for my mouth has been stilled

My warmth has been taken away, I’m left empty and chilled

I once was filled with life, do you wonder who they were?

They’ve all gone away now, their stories never to remember
- Felicity Estola

Oh! The Simple Life! // P O E T R Y

Oh! The Simple Life!

Have you ever smelt the air just before a rain? 
Have you watched the leaves tumble down a country lane?
Have you ever tasted the sweetness of mountain air upon your lips?
Have you watched a hillside stream as it tumbles and trips?

Do you know the feeling of cool dirt in between your toes?
Do you know the joy of playing hide-and-seek down the corn rows?

Do you lay beneath the heavens and watch the silver stars fall?

Do you wonder at the majesty of a fir tree so tall?

Have you tasted the first honey-suckle ever so sweet?

Have you watched a kitten ramble gaily about your feet?

Have you walked through the earth, just kissed with the summer dew?

Have you felt the tender trust of a child’s eyes so true?

Oh! The simple life! How wonderful it can be!

For with all it’s peaceful ways my heart is light and free

I’d rather have my rolling hills; the beautiful blue sky

Than own the largest mansion with a tear drop on my eye

- Felicity Estola

Today We Remember // P O E T R Y

Today we remember someone who went away

Someone who laughed and loved and in our hearts to stay

June 15, 1956 - September 7, 2007

A Picture in a Frame // P O E T R Y

I thought it had been awhile since I posted one of my poems, so here it goes!
This one I wrote over two years ago. I am afraid I think it could be written better, but I will just post it how I wrote it when I was seventeen.

I wrote this poem with a sad heart.

One day, my little cousins were over and somehow we came across the topic of Grandma. They said they didn't know who I was talking about. When I pointed to the picture (below) sitting on a shelf, they just said, "Oh. Her. That's Grandma Nancy. She lives in heaven."

I realized they truly didn't know who she was. She is, and would always be,
 just a "picture in a frame", a "picture with a name".
It broke my heart and I could have cried. For to me, Grandma was real. She was a person. She loved me, and I knew it. She used to laugh and cry and give me tight hugs, covering my face in kisses. I ache for my cousins who will never know how wonderful their Grandma was, and what a special person she will always be to me.

 A Picture in a Frame

by Felicity Estola

April 23, 2013

You see that picture in a frame, which sits just over there?

The glass not so perfect, and the wood a little wear?

Some dust may have settled gently atop its stand

And to you it may not seem all that grand

But look at the picture in the frame; tell me what do you see?

A lady sitting silently, looking back at you and me?

Step a little closer and I'm sure if you try

You'll find a twinkle dancing merrily in her eye

She no longer lives on earth, for her Saviour called her away

But her memory will never leave, oh so much I could say!

That mouth loved to laugh with a clear loud sound

And the love in her heart was strong and abound

You see her arms just sitting there, quietly by her side

I see her warm hugs, arms held open wide

Her clothes are not fancy; her hair may have some gray

But she lived for Jesus and to Him she did pray

To you that lady may be just a picture in a frame

Someone people talk about; a picture with a name

But I see a person who once was full of life

Someone Jesus came and healed of their strife

To you that little frame may be a glance of your eye

But to me it's a keepsake of a life that's gone by

Forever I will remember that lady smiling at you and me

And I know someday in heaven, her I will see!

Hello, today is Spring! // P O E T R Y

Hello, today is Spring

 For a little walk I went and what do you suppose?

I found a little flower; from the ground she arose

Her head was small but lovely and fit for a King

Her tiny peddles seemed to say, “Hello, today is Spring!”

   

Above I heard a birdie dancing with all her pride

Happily she flitted about until me she spied

Her little head turned and her voice began to sing
She twirled and cried aloud, “Hello, today is Spring!” 

The sun awoke the world from her long winter nap

A breeze flitted through the trees causing her branches to clap

Chirping, scampering and twittering in my ears did ring

Dancing with jubilee the world sang, “Hello, today is Spring!”

 - Felicity Estola

The Gentle Voice // P O E T R Y

Back in October, I was going through a hard time.

I felt alone, sad, and depressed. No particular reason, we all have those moments!
One night I sat down at the computer, and decided I would write a poem. About what, I didn't know. Then, the words just started pouring out of my fingers as I typed. I felt like I was watching someone else write. It didn't feel like me.
Then when I came to the line "I have never left Thee", I heard Him. God said those words to me, and I truly believed them. After I was finished, I shook. I felt exhausted when the last line was written. Like everything in me had just been poured out.
I even thought, "What just happened?"
Still to this day, whenever I feel alone, I hear those words again and they give me peace.
I know God came to me that night, and said every one of these words to my heart.
It's simple, but it's the words God spoke to me when I needed them. And I pray maybe someone somewhere will find peace with these words as well.

 "The Gentle Voice" 

 Sometimes the road of life feels too hard to walk

Curves and struggles seem to stare you down in mock

Nothing is going right; everything is going wrong 
Your body is weary; you can’t continue to be strong

 Too many burdens to carry; too many thoughts to be thought
Another day to travel; another war to be fought

You know you can’t keep struggling on this long, hard road

You know you can no longer bear this heavy load

 But at the very moment you feel yourself give way and fall

A light brightens the darkness; a voice seems to call

He heard every cry; He heard every plea

Gently and softly He whispers “I have never left Thee”

 “I will bury your burdens; I will carry every trial

I will be by your side every step of every mile

Cling to My hand, I promise to never let go

I held every tear that slipped; I saw every woe”

 “Keep your eyes toward Heaven” the gentle voice said

“You will never have want; you will always be fed

For I heard every cry; I heard every plea

I was always there, I have never left Thee”

- Felicity Estola 

May you all have a blessed Sunday!

Whispers Through the Land // P O E T R Y

A few months ago, I passed an old house long since forgotten while driving to church.
It got me thinking about the old house down by the river at my Grandpa's ranch. How I always loved to dream what it looked like when it was first built, who built it, and why. Did they like living far in the Oregon mountains? Or was it a lonely life? Were they young? Old? Did children play near the river's bed? Who planted the lone tree? I did my best to put my questions down:

 Whispers Through the Land

 Deep in the valley, over the hill and near the river blue

  A little house stands asleep; a little house so true
Her walls are aged with color, her doors no longer stand
 Silently her presence whispers her memories to the land

 

Oh, if she could talk, the stories she would say!
Of those people who came before in days gone away
Oh walls. what did you see all that time ago?
Did you see days of laughter? Or was it days of woe?

Did you hear cries of joy as a new babe was born?

Did you see the tears of sadness in an old mans eyes so worn?

Oh, walls, what would you say if only you could?

What would your windows whisper? Your floors of polished wood?

No one loves you any longer, no one fills your rooms

And yet your empty halls seem to whisper gentle croons

Was it a young man who built you for his family so dear?

Or was it a lonely man and woman who came alone with a tear?

Oh, walls if you could talk, what would you share?

Your windows of broken glass, your doors of gentle ware

Empty and alone you stand; your windows twinkling a tear

Silently to the land you whisper your secrets that no ear can hear
- Felicity Estola