Another Pathway // our new apartment

I thought you all may like to see our new place! I have most everything unpacked, but would love to go decoration shopping someday... soon?
*laughs*

I cleaned in here one day for 9 hours, and painted another day for also 9 hours. It was a rough long week and it feels so good to be finally in! 

We painted everything a gray-tan color

 

 

 I want to get some decor for the coffee cart... someday.

And there you have it, our second home.

Love grows best in little houses

With fewer walls to separate

Where you eat and sleep so close together

You can't help but communicate

Oh and if we had more room between us 

Think of all we'd miss

Love grows best in houses just like this. 

- Doug Stone

moving... for the second time // getting some things off my chest

I am here.
I am alive.
I am well. 

I had no idea how little of hours there are in a day, or how quickly they tick by. But, they do. One tick at a time. One moment passes, and another slips in sight. Round and round we go.

Ever since moving across the country, from the home of ancestors, life has been spinning. One thing after another comes up. One more thing to figure out. My "to do" list is as long as the world is round I believe.

We were in our little home for just over two weeks when we discovered that we would have to move once again, due to our landlords potentially selling their house. My, how devastating that was.
Two weeks into our own home, and we suddenly are uprooted once again.
It was emotionally hard for us to get the news, but the Lord seen us through.
Just days later another apartment opened up, just down the road. Actually, its above the shop where my husband works, just a few yards from his parents home.

I'll admit when I seen the place for the first time, I went home and sobbed cried.
The other renter still was living there, a bachelor, and the place was dark, dirty, and sad.
I was devastated. I missed home. I missed my family. I was tired. So tired of being strong. So tired of being lonely. Of what felt like door after door closing in my face.

I have been unable to get a drivers license out here, due to not being able to get a "proof of residency" in my name. That in turn means I can not get on the bank account with my married name.
We tried once and after standing in line for an hour we were turned away due to the paper we brought not being the correct one. Once again, I cried.

I'll admit that I feel a little like I'm drowning. Or floating. Or falling. I'm not sure.
I have always been a person who likes things done neat, orderly, and quickly. When its been seven weeks, and still your "to do" list hasn't shortened, you start to feel a little sense of panic.

Still, I know that Jesus is in control, and I cling to that daily. Without my Savior and my husband, I never would have made it this far.

We have now been settled into our new home for four days.
After all my tears, I do love this place.

Once the other tenant moved out, the place was cleaned and painted, it really wasn't bad. In fact, I love it even more than our other place. We have much more storage room, and so much more room in the kitchen! I love it!
I have real drawers, large counters, and we were even given a free dining room table! Imagine, being able to sit and eat at a real table!

Now that we are in, and once my Father-in-law is home from a trip, we should be able to get the proof of residency and so many more things rolling.

I love being married. I love waking up beside my best friend every day. I love making him supper and holding his hand. Talking and laughing. Teasing and flirting. It truly is a beautiful relationship.

But, although I am living my life long dream, I am still sad. I still long for home. I still ache for my loved ones to be near me. And I am still lonely for my mountains.

I miss the blue skies and snow capped beauties.
I miss the tall evergreen trees breaking the clouds above.
I miss the rolling river and crashing falls.
I miss my familiar roads.
My grocery store.
My puppy.
My Grandma's grave.

I miss sharing quiet mornings with my Mom and giggly nights with my sisters.
I miss annoying my brother to death, and hugging his neck off.

I miss listening to my baby sister chatter and sharing her newest find.
I miss my Daddy's hello hugs and "How are you kiddo?"

I miss home.

what is marriage?

When you are young and single, the idea of marriage is romantic. 
You watch romantic movies about two people madly in love. Willing to risk everything to be with their other half. You heart feels all warm and you wonder, what would that feel like? What is it like to be held and loved and wanted?
When will it be my turn?
Love and marriage seems like an exciting and fun adventure. A mysterious adventure with a tall handsome prince riding on a white horse.


While marriage is all that (besides the white horse. I mean, who really has those these days?) I have learned through my short time as a wife, that it is something much deeper.
Much more special.

Even before becoming a Mrs, my eyes began opening to a whole new level of relationship.
As we spent much of our dating days apart, we did a lot of talking. And I mean, a lot. We would spend 6-10 hours a day Face-timing. Not all of it was spent talking, but much of it was.

We learned about one another, and began sharing things we had never told anyone else before.
Some good, some bad, but all of it brought us closer together.

Marriage is not butterflies and sparkles. 

Marriage is tears and pain.
Marriage is rewarding and beautiful.

Now, how can something that is painful, be beautiful?

Simple.

Through all that pain, comes joy. The nights spent crying on each others shoulders is bonding. It's sharing. It's growing.

Marriage is so much more than a pretty ring and a handsome husband.
It's a friend. A best friend. It's someone to share everything with. The good days and the hard days. The laughter and the tears.
It means encouraging one another when the other is down. It's holding them up when you see their knees beginning to buckle.
It's praying together, for each other. It's about forgiveness. It's about love.
True love.

Love that can stand up to the strongest wind.

I am not perfect. In fact, I am far from it. I fail much every single day. Yet, do you know what? Josiah loves me. And he forgives my flaws and loves my heart.

"Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church." 

How many times did I hear that saying? How many times did I nod in agreement, but not fully understanding what it meant?

Now, I believe I have been given a small glimpse of what it means. 

When I look at my husband, I see Christ.
 I see the love my Savior has for me.
Unconditional. Unfailing. Unwavering. 

Josiah loves me, but Christ loves me more.
Christ loves Josiah more than I ever could.
The thought of that is so humbling, for I have never felt so much love for one person in my entire life.
And each day, it only grows. When I think I have felt all I can feel, with just a smile my heart swells. When Josiah hurts, I want to take his burdens, and carry them for him. I want to hold his hand and never let go. Reassure him that I am right here, and I'm not going anywhere.

That's how Jesus feels about me. Only, He can take my burdens, and He can carry them for me.
He can reassure me. He isn't going anywhere. He's holding my hand, and He won't ever let go. 
How amazing.
How beautiful.

 So while marriage is exciting and fun, it is something much more than just that.

It is having a partner to walk beside you. Stumble together. Pick each other back up, and carry on.
Reminding one another that Jesus is the reason for life. Jesus died for you, He died for me, and He has washed our sins away. Through Him, we are white as snow.

It is crying and laughing. It is joy and it is pain.

When two people are kneeling below the cross, it is rewarding.
Each bump won't pull you apart, it will cause you to cling tighter.
Every time I have laid my head down beside my husband, and cried tears of sadness, my love has grown. It is such a special thing, and a bonding moment for you as a couple.

Marriage is a partnership. Marriage is someone to walk with and fall with.
A friend to worship our Savior with.

Someone who whispers "amen" right along with you.

Marriage, in all it's ways, is beautiful.