A Christmas Letter // 2022

 *I wrote this in mind of sending with my Christmas cards this year, but as we don't have a printer, I actually never sent it. Every year I ponder writing one of these, and every year I talk myself out of it. I figured why not post it here*

FOR UNTO YOU IS BORN THIS DAY IN THE CITY 

OF DAVID A SAVIOUR, WHICH IS CHRIST THE LORD. 

LUKE 2:11

Merry Christmas friends and family! I pray the ending of 2022 finds you all with peace and joy in Christ and excitement for what God has in store for you in the coming new year. 

Life for us here in the Estola household has been ever changing, ever busy. With small children one year brings a lot of growth. They grow so quickly sometimes it is hard for my mind to fully grasp it. 

In December 2021 we welcomed our second child and first son, Gideon. He has been an absolute joy and we are so grateful God blessed us with our blue-eyed boy. At now 12 months old, he is a full time walker and very busy. He loves to dig, climb, pull, and yell. I'll admit I am nervous as he discovers his independence but also so excited to watch him grow and learn beside his big sister. Who is his best friend by the way. 

Kate turned three years old in November but sometimes I wonder if she turned 13. That girl is so smart and observant. She loves all things pink and sparkly. We are struggling right now because she owns just one pink nightgown and fights me to wear it to bed every single night. Her dreams for life consist of (almost) one thing. Her very own puppy named Clifford. She talks about him almost daily and prays we can "get a bigger house so Clifford can move in". Someday baby girl. Lord willing, someday. Kate is fully potty trained, can sing her alphabet, count to 20, and knows a few letters by sight and sound. She's really in to wanting to learn to read lately and every day asks what letter goes with what word and then repeats it back to you with the correct sound. She also wants to learn to play the piano and sew. My little homemaker in the making. 

In just one month Josiah and I will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary. Some days it seems like it can't possibly be five years already. Most days it feels like we've always been together. Josiah is my best friend, and I mean that when I say it. I never tire of our quiet evenings together after the kids have gone to bed. I still get giddy when he walks in the door each evening from work. I still want to hold his hand when we walk through the store. Every day I thank God that He brought us together. I can't imagine what my life would be like if He hadn't. Every day I wonder, why me. Why did God allow me to have my dreams become reality. May He bless us with many more years as husband and wife. 

Josiah still works in finish carpentry and enjoys his job. We are so thankful God has allowed us to stay busy (for the most part) and that God has given Josiah the ability to provide for us. 

As for me, I spend my days busily taking care of my family. Running the house and watching my two little ones. Some days I long for a moment to myself, but I wouldn't change my life for anything. I love being a wife and mother. It truly is my dream come true. 

Now for a summery of our year:

January found us with a newborn and adjusting to life as a family of four. If you know me personally, you know that the postpartum stage takes a hard tole on me, mentally. It's a very dark time for me and although I love those newborn smells and snuggles, I long for the days when the darkness lifts. Praise the Lord, it always has. 

February was more of the same. Adjusting. Learning. Growing. And not so much sleep. But we did it! Two of Josiah's sisters flew out for a visit, and it was nice that they got to meet their nephew and see Kate (who they hadn't seen in almost a year) again. I am always so grateful when my husband's side of the family makes an effort to come and see us. We financially haven't been able to make many trips back to his childhood home in New Hampshire and he really does miss his family. With nine sisters and two brothers, he has a lot of family to miss! 

March found us on the dry side of the state, visiting my Auntie A and Uncle Tim! That was a lot of fun. Our first family "road trip" even if it was only a few hours' drive. We enjoyed visiting them and I enjoyed showing Josiah the desert. I myself hadn't been to that side of the state in almost five years! I think my auntie, uncle, and cousins enjoyed having us. Kate had a blast playing with cousin Kaaren and Gideon got all the snuggles. 

April saw Josiah turn 28 and me 26. Aren't we getting old? *laughs* It also saw my baby brother get engaged to his prairie girl, Brynna. It was so fun to meet her during that time and watch their relationship blossom. My kids immediately took to her and today they both absolutely love their "Auntie Brynna". Especially Gideon. Except when Uncle is around. *wink* Then he is always diving for Uncle's arms. 

We also bought our van in April and my how that has been a blessing! Mini vans are life savers when you have small kids. 

A cousin of mine who had been lost to the world was called home. Seeing Christ change her heart and bring her to repentance was a humbling experience. And such an eye-opening thing to witness. How great our God is! And how amazing it is to see His Hand gently reach down and save a body and soul that once was lost. Not only was her life spared, but her soul was also more importantly, saved. 

Praise the Lord for His abounding grace! 

May rolled in bringing warmer weather and we loved it. We spent a lot of time outdoors! Although we never made it on a hike. I celebrated my first Mother's Day with two kiddos, which was fun. Josiah's sister got married May 14th in NH. We were so sad to miss it! But alas, money doesn't grow on trees. Someday we'll get back there to see everyone. 

June was a big month for us! After a couple months of planning, we headed out on our very first big road trip as a family. I'll admit, I was nervous! I get quite anxious on freeways but, praise the Lord, I did alright! After three days of travel, we made it to our destination. South Dakota. We were so thankful to be able to make the trip and witness my brother's wedding. 

We stayed with Josiah's Aunt and Uncle, and we really enjoyed our time with them. It was the first time they met me or the kids but welcomed us all warmly. Kate still talks about going to "Glenda's" with the "soft carpet and rocking horse". We'd love to visit them again someday. 

It was my first time visiting the Midwest, so I enjoyed seeing it! Especially because that was where my grandma was born. I've only ever visited a few states on the west coast along with New Hampshire so it was all new territory for me. Very different than my mountainous PNW but pretty in its own way! During that trip we got to take Kate to the zoo (her first time!) and we loved that. It was so quiet and relaxing. A much-needed slow paced family day. 

We also got to visit the Laura Ingalls homestead! The child in me was squealing with glee. I first heard the Laura books when I was three years old, and every year since. I never dreamed I'd be able to visit one of her homes in my lifetime. It was very surreal. We are so grateful we could make that trip. 

It was also during this month my baby sister started dating her boyfriend, Byron. 

July came in quietly but boy was it a rough month. We caught a terrible virus and all four of us were down for a week or more. Nothing makes a mama's heart ache more than to see your children burn with fevers. Praise the Lord we made it through that all in one piece! But what a scary time. 

Before we were completely well, Ed and Rahcel flew into town for a visit. Thankfully they never caught it from us and we were able to still spend time with them! Was so nice to see them meet Gideon and watch Kate get to know her "Grandpa and Grandma E". We miss them. 

During July we also helped my parents move from their home of seven years to "the farm" in the flats. Barely over sickness and a scorching 95+ degree day, but we managed it. We got them moved. That was one exhausting month. 

We also learned the news that "Baby Pooh" (Chancy and Brynna's) is due to arrive in April 2023! I am so excited for them and for myself. I'll get to experience being the Auntie for the first time. 

August was spent recovering from the previous month and helping my parents settle into their new home. Chancy and Brynna were living in their temporary apartment but anxiously waited for their little house that was being built to be finished. Which happens to be in the back yard of my parent's new house. 

September. Ah, September. Not a good month for me. We planned a regular dentist appointment which shockingly gave me the news that I needed my lower wisdom teeth removed as soon as possible. To say I was scared is an understatement. I was terrified. I didn't need to be put to sleep, but I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or not. Those couple weeks of waiting until I had to go in were very anxiety packed. 

During our wait we took the kids to the fair for the first time. It was so crowded, but we enjoyed it just the same. Kate loved all the farm animals. 

Then on September 15th we awoke to Gideon throwing up with the stomach flu. The very morning we had to leave at 6:00 am to get to my wisdom teeth extraction appointment. Worst morning ever. I have never had such butterflies in my stomach. I was so afraid of catching the stomach flu while trying to recover now on top of my fears of having to lay in a chair for two hours while they cut teeth out of my gums and jaw. 

In reality, the appointment took over two and a half hours. Now when I say I'd rather give birth than do that again, I mean it. Worst experience of my life. A few times I started to panic and that was a terrifying feeling. I kept praying over and over, begging God to help me. Because all I wanted to do was jump up and run. Josiah had to stay in the van with Gideon since he was sick, so I was alone. Wishing so badly he was there. Never again, please. 

I walked out of that office and immediately burst into sobs. Poor Josiah. The drive home was an ordeal because Gideon started to throw up so I had to jump and help him which in turn caused me to start passing out. So there was Josiah, trying to merge on to a freeway, with a puke covered baby and a wife passing out in the back seat. Thankfully we made it home alive, if barely. 

Recovery was hard. I was so hungry and in so much pain. After two weeks I thought I was on the mend but then awoke one morning with the swelling coming back on one side and coming back quickly. Turned out I had an infection and needed antibiotics as quickly as I could get them. I had never felt such pain in my life. My face swelled so huge, and the lump was so hard, it was pushing a lot of pressure on my teeth. I couldn't eat for five weeks. Five weeks. I was so hungry. I lost a lot of weight during that time and cried the first time I was able to chew (which was a single French fry) again. 

During that time, I had other health concerns like infections etc. that happened. Let's just say, my body and mind were put through the ringer. I'm pretty sure two months later I'm still recovering. 

In the middle of all that chaos, my baby sister and Byron got engaged (one day before our engagement anniversary) and although I was very happy for them, I feel a little cheated when it comes to enjoying that time and the wedding planning. 

October I continued to heal, and my family began planning a wedding. When I say this year has been a wild one, I mean it. So much has changed in such a short time. I'll admit even I have shed some tears over all the change. It's been good change! But change nonetheless. Two weddings. My parents moved. A baby on the way. God is ever good. But some days I wish I could slow down the clock. 

It was also a scary time as our state had been without rain for far too long and fires began breaking out all around us. Many family members were put in 1 and 2 evacuation levels. Wildfires are one of the most terrifying things to ever experience. Oh, how many prayers were sent upward for rain. Praise God, rain came, and the fires were quenched. But those days were not fun. Although we weren't officially put in any evacuation, we packed our important belongings and were prepared to leave at a moment's notice. We are so thankful that never came. 

November began the crazy long days. We celebrated Kate's third birthday, spent Thanksgiving with family, and had a bridal shower for Liberty. 

And here are we now, nearing the end of December. Christmas will be here in just a short time and it's hard to believe. 

December 2nd Liberty and Byron became one. What a beautiful wedding! They were such a cute couple (and still are). The wedding went well although brother Chancy did pass out during the ceremomy which in turn caused me to begin to pass out. I had to collapse to the floor as I stood in front of the entire church (I was a bridesmaid) because I lost my vision. How embarrasing. I couldn't sleep for days after because I felt so dumb. But, in the end, they were married. 

And so this year comes to a close. As I have said several times, what a wild year. Filled with laughs, tears, and change. A lot of change. 

I said that my sister getting married didn't bother me, because I thought it didn't. In reality, it has been hard. I am so happy she found her other half, but the rapid change has been hard to fully grasp. My health wasn't great this year, which in turn made the year mentally harder as well. 

Motherhood can be so hard at times. And it can also feel very lonely. 

But in the end, I know deep down, God is still gracious. And I praise Him with everything in me for all His blessings in this life. And I long for the day we can all join Him in Heaven, forever singing His praises. 

I feel like perhaps I got too personal in this letter, but I suppose I needed to get some stuff out. 

I pray for all you who read this, that you may know God's wonderous love. That you can move forward with your head held high. Knowing His pathway is the best way. 

May God bless you all.

- Felicity