the past year of my life // end of the year update

 This past year has been crazy for me, as I am sure it has been for many. On top of the entire world losing their minds, I was also learning how to be a Mom and watching my daughter change daily. Even though so much has changed in the outside world, my world hasn't felt all that bad. We snuggled and laughed. Learned to walk and how to get back up when we fall down. (both me and Kate). 

We went shopping. Held hands. Looked at sunsets. Sipped hot coffees. Loved. 

Little ones grow so much in just one short year. It's hard to believe a year ago today, Kate was a little newborn just starting to show her personality. Now as I type this she is kicking her legs and singing while eating her crackers. That girl is such a joy to raise. (and also trying at times. *wink*)

I wanted to try and do a summary of each month of 2020. It's honestly hard to remember exactly what happened because when you're living on little sleep, things seem to run together. But I will try! 

J  A  N  U  A  R  Y 

Kate turned 2 months old and we had our first snow. It didn't even last an entire day but it sure was pretty.

During this time we were living in our last apartment, which due to many reasons, was not a fun place to live. I struggled with severe (severe!) anxiety after having Kate, as well as some depression, so this time is a dark time for me. Looking back I just remember nightmares, fear, struggles, tears, and questions. Kate and Josiah were my sunshine and with them, my Mom, and God, I made it through that valley and back to the top of the mountain. 

Josiah continued learning his new trade at work, and I continued to learn how to be a mom at home. 

We celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary on January 20th. We left Kate with my parents and went to eat at a restaurant down the road. The food ended up not being great, but my company was so it all worked out in the end. *wink*

I spent a lot of times at my Moms (still do lol). The apartment had no internet and no cell service so I felt very isolated. If I was there I put movies going a lot for background noise. 

When winter came this year, and it started to get dark in the evenings, memories flooded back of those winter nights, waiting and longing for Josiah to come home and chase the fears away. *shiver* So thankful those are easing. I recognized they were just feelings from those memories, and I am able to reassure myself all is well and nothing is actually wrong. 

Kate's first snow.

Two years as husband and wife. 

Kate meeting the chickens and goats at Grandma's for the first time. 

the cousin twins - born 3 hours and 15 minutes apart. 

packing up the apartment to move in mid February.
"We're gettin' out of here!" (know where that quote is from?)

F  E  B  R  U  A  R  Y 

February was spent breathing, packing, and counting the days until we could leave. At least I was. Now I know the place we were living wasn't actually horrid but for me, personally, it felt it. I wasn't comfortable and I didn't feel safe. I thank God every day, almost a year later, that He allowed us to leave there. 

We searched for a new place to live, though it was hard. Then a bittersweet thing happened. My cousin (and dear friend) and her husband made the decision to move to New Hampshire. Their apartment (at my great-aunts house) would be opening up and we could have it. I miss my friend so much, but this place has been such a huge blessing to live at. It's quiet. Its comfortable. And most important, I feel safe again. 

They were not moving out until the beginning of March though, so in the meantime we moved back in for the second time with my parents. I believe we lived with them for about 2.5-3 weeks. 

During this month Kate turned 3 months old and she was baptized by my uncle Mikey. We attended two weddings, and stayed the night away in a hotel, which was a lot of fun! 

Farewell to our first apartment in WA and where Kate was born! 

M  A  R  C  H

Ah, March. The crazy month, right? *laughs*

We moved in to our new place March 9th and then a week later we boarded a plane and headed to New Hampshire for a wedding Josiah was standing in. It was a quick, strange trip. The wedding ended up only being family and the wedding party, and everything shut down while we were there. Our planes kept getting canceled until we finally booked a new flight for the very next day, quickly threw our belongings together, and headed back home. We were afraid we'd never make it back! But, thank the Lord, we did. 

It was Kate's first vacation, though it was sadly far too short. 

Once home, Josiah couldn't work for a while so we spent a lot of the time sitting at home or my parents place. Slowly but surely though, life went (somewhat) back to "normal". Josiah headed back off to work and I continued to be a Mama to our quickly growing girl. 

Kate turned 4 months old and began laughing, wiggling, smiling, and yelling like crazy. 

This was also the month I started to feel better, mentally. My anxiety went down, my hormones seem to straighten out, and I felt like myself again. I began losing my baby weight and started to really enjoy cooking again. 

Off to NH we go. 

Grandma E!

Headed home. 

Kate learning to sit up. 4.5 months

A  P  R  I  L 

Life continued to go round. Josiah turned 26 and I turned 24. My golden birthday. 

I was sad I couldn't do anything for my birthday, even the place I wanted to order food from was closed, so we ended up picking up Red Robin. We went to my Mom's so she could watch Kate and we could eat our food out in the "family room". When we got there Liberty had set it up all sweet and cute with candles and a banner. It made my night. 

Kate turned 5 months old. 

Becoming the monkey she is!

24 years old. 

Always loving books. 

M  A  Y

Ah. Spring. 

I soaked in the sunshine back in May, loving the blue skies and deep green grass. Where we live has cows and Kate began to love watching them through the windows. 

Our blue eyed girl turned 6 months old. You can read my update about her here. 

I also spent my first Mother's Day with my little girl. 

We spent a lot of time outdoors walking and fishing. 

J  U  N  E

Nothing major happened in June. Kate continued to learn and grow. Keeping us entertained. We spent our days hanging with family and living life. 

One Saturday we loaded the truck up and headed to the hills. We spent the day beside a beautiful river, just the three of us. Such a blessed day.

Josiah had his first Father's Day.

 

J  U  L  Y

Ah. Summer. As much as I love autumn and cold weather, summer is always a blessing when it comes. Sunshine. Blue skies. Campfires. Long nights.

We spent our July outdoors. Kate had her first Independence Day. We went on our annual blueberry picking day, and I planned an at home date for Josiah which was a lot of fun!

We also painted my parents entire house. By hand. With paint brushes. Phew. A lot of work but honestly a lot of fun. 

Kate went to the beach for the first time and lets just say she was less than pleased. We'll have to try round two some other time. *wink*

Independence Day 

Kate did not like the fireworks.

Always have to get ice cream after blue berry picking!

My family. 

A  U  G  U  S  T

Kate turned 9 months and began to crawl as well as took her first few steps.

Grandpa moved out of the ole Finn Hill house which broke my heart. My last physical link to my childhood. It was an emotional day for sure. So many sweet memories.

We hiked. Loved. Laughed. Played. 

Kate grew and grew, learning more and more each day. 

Liberty turned sweet 16 and Chancy turned 19. 

The memory tree.

Kate loves her "Guncle"

S  E  P  T  E  M  B  E  R

September came in beautiful but quickly turned dark. 

Where we live, wildfires are common (and expected) each summer, but this year it was the worst I have ever seen it. The sun disappeared (except for the occasional glimpse of a fiery red ball through the gray smoke) and the air smelled of campfire. It was so thick it was advised that you don't leave your home, or even open your windows. (which has happened in years past). Ash fell like snowflakes. 

A wildfire started up just 15 (or so) miles away and we all sat on the edge of our seat, waiting to see what would happen. 

We did get the call to prepare for evacuation, which was pretty scary. We loaded all our things we felt were important into our truck, packed suitcase, and prayed. After about a week the evacuation was lifted and we were able to unpack. What a relief! 

Firefighters stationed just a few hundred yards from my parents house and it was strange to see all those tents lined up in that smoke. 

So thankful for the winter rains that come and give drink to our parched earth!

This was also the month I began planning Kate's first birthday party. 

The day it all began.

O  C  T  O  B  E  R 

Blue skies returned and Kate learned to walk. She began exploring and loved getting outside discovering all the beautiful things.

N  O  V  E  M  B  E  R 

Birthday month! I was so excited for Kate to celebrate her first birthday (although also sad because my baby is o  n  e).

Sadly, not everyone could make it to the party, but it was still a lot of fun to plan as well as put on! 

Kate wasn't so sure about being sung to, and was so tired after the present opening she fell asleep instantly. But all in all, a good day.

We celebrated Kate's 2nd Thanksgiving, went to the hills and cut a Christmas tree, and decorated the apartment for my favorite holiday.

Thanksgiving Day

D  E  C  E  M  B  E  R

Christmas time! The month was spent shopping, wrapping gifts, sipping coffee, looking at the sparkling lights, and looking forward to Christmas Day. 

We also welcomed a new cousin/niece! (Josiah's brother and my aunt had a baby). It's super exciting as she is their first girl after four boys!

Eating lunch in the back of the truck. 

Early one morning she woke up before Daddy had left for work so she grabbed her dolly and went to say good morning. 

Our monkey.

Went to McDonalds for breakfast.

getting a gift from Papa and Nana at the Warnke christmas.

Met cousin Allison

Some of the grands and great-grands

Christmas Eve candy canes and new pajamas

Christmas morning

And so we come to January. A new year. 

We're party poopers so we didn't do anything super exciting for New Years Eve. Just got some pizza from our favorite (and expensive) local pizza place, hung out with my parents and grandparents, then headed off home to bed. 

May this new year be blessed with many joys. May we all remember who is in control of our lives and this entire world. 

May we keep our eyes on Jesus. Our hearts filled with peace in Christ. Our eyes turned toward heaven. For that is truly the reason why we are all here.

Hold your loved ones close, for no one is promised tomorrow. 

My prayers go up for each and every person on this earth.

On to 2021.