Wednesday, March 28, 2018

moving... for the second time // getting some things off my chest

I am here.
I am alive.
I am well. 


I had no idea how little of hours there are in a day, or how quickly they tick by. But, they do. One tick at a time. One moment passes, and another slips in sight. Round and round we go.

Ever since moving across the country, from the home of ancestors, life has been spinning. One thing after another comes up. One more thing to figure out. My "to do" list is as long as the world is round I believe.

We were in our little home for just over two weeks when we discovered that we would have to move once again, due to our landlords potentially selling their house. My, how devastating that was.
Two weeks into our own home, and we suddenly are uprooted once again.
It was emotionally hard for us to get the news, but the Lord seen us through.
Just days later another apartment opened up, just down the road. Actually, its above the shop where my husband works, just a few yards from his parents home.

I'll admit when I seen the place for the first time, I went home and sobbed cried.
The other renter still was living there, a bachelor, and the place was dark, dirty, and sad.
I was devastated. I missed home. I missed my family. I was tired. So tired of being strong. So tired of being lonely. Of what felt like door after door closing in my face.

I have been unable to get a drivers license out here, due to not being able to get a "proof of residency" in my name. That in turn means I can not get on the bank account with my married name.
We tried once and after standing in line for an hour we were turned away due to the paper we brought not being the correct one. Once again, I cried.

I'll admit that I feel a little like I'm drowning. Or floating. Or falling. I'm not sure.
I have always been a person who likes things done neat, orderly, and quickly. When its been seven weeks, and still your "to do" list hasn't shortened, you start to feel a little sense of panic.


Still, I know that Jesus is in control, and I cling to that daily. Without my Savior and my husband, I never would have made it this far.

We have now been settled into our new home for four days.
After all my tears, I do love this place.

Once the other tenant moved out, the place was cleaned and painted, it really wasn't bad. In fact, I love it even more than our other place. We have much more storage room, and so much more room in the kitchen! I love it!
I have real drawers, large counters, and we were even given a free dining room table! Imagine, being able to sit and eat at a real table!

Now that we are in, and once my Father-in-law is home from a trip, we should be able to get the proof of residency and so many more things rolling.

I love being married. I love waking up beside my best friend every day. I love making him supper and holding his hand. Talking and laughing. Teasing and flirting. It truly is a beautiful relationship.

But, although I am living my life long dream, I am still sad. I still long for home. I still ache for my loved ones to be near me. And I am still lonely for my mountains.

I miss the blue skies and snow capped beauties.
I miss the tall evergreen trees breaking the clouds above.
I miss the rolling river and crashing falls.
I miss my familiar roads.
My grocery store.
My puppy.
My Grandma's grave.

I miss sharing quiet mornings with my Mom and giggly nights with my sisters.
I miss annoying my brother to death, and hugging his neck off.

I miss listening to my baby sister chatter and sharing her newest find.
I miss my Daddy's hello hugs and "How are you kiddo?"

I miss home.


11 comments:

  1. That must have been hard to move so soon after moving! And without us to help you move in this time! ;) I'm sure you had other helpers though, right?

    Aww! Hang in there, cousin! Jesus will carry you through! <3

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    1. We had one helper! ;) Josiah's friend, Luke, came and helped him carry the big stuff! Other wise, Josiah and myself did it all *flexes muscles*

      *Gwen and Rachel did help carry up a couple things* :)

      Thank you! <3 and thank you for the sweet letter! I enjoyed it!

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  2. �� we all miss you here too.... BUT we are also SO happy God sent you your dream in the form of Josiah!! Such a bittersweet thing... it’s strange being so happy for someone yet so sad at the same time.❤️ This too shall pass... tis a season we must all go through.. we know God will be with us and as time passes we will be given strength to indure... makes one think of those pioneer ladies and how hard it must have been for them... I try remind myself we have texting, FaceTime, snail mail, and so much more that the pioneers didn’t have ( they had snail mail but it took months!) but it is still hard sometimes... anyways girlie we are always praying for you!! Love you tons and miss you! ❤️❤️����

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    1. I know, it is crazy how you can be so happy and yet so sad <3 <3
      We do have much to be thankful for!
      Love and miss you too!

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  3. We miss you loads and loads, too.
    But don't fret, big sis, because we'll all be just fine. And I know you will, too.
    I can't definitely understand how you are feeling....the thought of leaving the mountains, winding roads and rivers makes my heart ache, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to.
    Leaving everything you've ever known behind...I'm so lonely for you.
    But hang in there! It'll get easier!

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    1. It's hard! Nothing is the same here, landscape wise. It's crazy.
      It doesn't bother me until I see pictures of home and remember...
      It's pretty here too, just isn't the same.
      <3

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  4. *cries* Awwww! I miss you too! I miss your random little pokes and pinches, and you altogether! You didn't have to make me cry though did you?! *sobs* I wish I was there to hug you, sit at your new home, talk you ear off, and everything! Miss you girl! ❤️❤️❤️
    I miss you loads and loads! *hugs*

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    Replies
    1. Come visit me real quick, okay? We need you to come make us some yummy pretzels! ;)

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    2. I will hide in a suitcase! I would love to make you some! ❤️

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