A Stroll Down Memory Lane

As I am nearing my nineteenth year, my mind keeps wandering back into my "past". Remembering little things that happened in yesteryear and random happenings that really have no meaning to why they have followed me through my life.
Everyone has something that brings a memory back. An old song, a certain chair, a smell, a taste of something on your tongue. Each person's is different, but no less special.
I haven't lived as long as many, and I haven't experienced anything very "exciting" but little moments keep flashing back to me. I thought maybe it would be nice to write some of them down.

Come, take a stroll with me down Memory Lane:

Daddy and I at Long Beach, WA

1997

What may be my earliest memory is one that concerns my Daddy, Grandma, and Great-Grandma Betty. I don't know the reason for the occasion or how old I was, but I may have been around a year. The memory starts with me sitting on my Grandpa and Grandma Warnke's couch in the "sunk in living room". I was between the couches arm and my Daddy's side, looking at my toes, which did not reach the length of the couches seat.

Grandma and great-Grandma started to laugh uncontrollably and Grandma was even wiping tears from her face with one hand, while patting her chest with the other. I remember feeling concerned. I don't know if I asked what was happening or if Daddy just told me, but he leaned down and said,

"Grandma thought she was dead because she couldn't find her heart beat."

Knowing my Grandma's sense of humor, it was probably quite a funny joke that happened between Mother and Daughter. But, in my little child mind, I remember thinking,
"If she can't find her heartbeat, how is she still alive?"

Great-Grandma Betty, Grandma, Mommy, and baby Felicity

When I was probably around two years of age, I remember walking into my Grandma and Grandpa's living room. Auntie Clarissa held out her arms and said, "Felicity, come see me!". Uncle Clinton, sitting across the room from her, held his out and called me by my nickname saying,

"Flip-Flop, come see me!" I went to Uncle Clinton. While I climbed into his lap I remember Auntie Clarissa pretending to pout.

Uncle Clinton laughed and said, "You have to call her Flip-Flop for her to like you."

My thoughts were something like, "That's not why I came to you Clinton, I like Clarissa too!" and I felt quite concerned that she thought I didn't like her anymore.

On the way to Grandpa and Grandma's from church, I was sitting in my front facing car seat. Daddy turned up the radio and said, "Felicity, listen to this song!"

Mommy laughed at him and said I probably wouldn't know what it was about. Little she knew. *wink*

That was the first time I ever heard the country song

The Little Girl by John Michael Montgomery.

I'll never forget Mommy and Daddy laughing one day as they buckled me into my car seat because I sang along with the theme song of "KUPL". Daddy exclaimed, "She knows it!" and I thought, "Of course I do. Why shouldn't I?"

When I was around three years old, I remember climbing into the back bed of Daddy's pick-up, and sitting on my Uncle Jeremy's lap.

It was growing dark.

We came to a house and a lady stepped outside of a door with bright lights shining from inside. Someone came behind her holding a black puppy by the neck in each hand.

One was a boy.

One was a girl.

We could have one if we liked?

Daddy said, "Felicity, which one do you want?"

I chose the little girl with the white chest and feet. If my memory is correct, the boy puppy was completely black. We named the puppy "Paws" and she was my dearest friend! I loved her and was heartbroken when we lost her.

She had a batch of puppies before she ran away, and my favorite of the batch was "Pokey". I remember holding him, discussing with my two Aunts what we should name him. Mommy came out and said:

"How about Pokey? Like the book 'The Pokey Little Puppy'?".

Probably around the same age as the puppy incident, I was at Grandma's house playing in the sandbox on the side of the house. I came walking into the house and all the lights were off except the kitchen. It was cozy and quiet. Grandma stood by the stove making "Hamburger Pie". She smiled at me sweetly and said, "I called your Mom, Felicity. She said you can stay for supper."

One of my favorite memories, I probably was around four years old. Auntie Marissa and Casey found a "metal handle" in the ground beside Grandpa's shop. Oh! The stories we told! Casey, Auntie Marissa, Auntie Marita, and I dug and dug to reveal concrete. It was what we thought!

"A tunnel to China!"

Hmm.... how humbling it was when Daddy came around the corner only to ask,

"Why are you digging up the sewer?"

When I was five years of age, my baby brother was about to be born. Mommy went into the hospital and me and my sisters went to Grandma's. Why this incident happened I don't know, but I remember sitting in the corner of Grandma's family room playing with my new toy horse. The phone rang and Grandma and Auntie Clarissa both squealed and ran for the phone. They were fighting over it when Uncle Jeremy calming walked between them and took the phone away. Who was on the phone I don't know, or why they were so excited to answer it. Maybe they were waiting for the phone call from Mommy saying the baby had made it safely? I just remember laughing because their faces looked so funny when Uncle Jeremy silently took the phone away and softly said, "

Hello?"

Smells bring back that fluttering in my stomach to remind me of good times.

Lilacs, fresh air mingled with smoke from a fire pit, exhaust from a four wheeler or pick-up, stew simmering on a rainy day. Coffee in a cup and freshly cut grass.

Of course life isn't perfect and I remember sad times too.

I remember when baby Amara passed away. I cried all night and both Mommy and Daddy came to comfort me.

"She's in heaven now. You don't have to cry for her." 

I knew that.

I remember through my sobs telling them I wasn't crying for Amara. I was crying for her Mama who was going to miss her so much.

I can still see the exact moment Mommy told me that Grandma had cancer. We were driving home from spending the day there like we always did. I was sitting between Mommy and Daddy's seats as we pulled into our driveway and Mommy said, "Grandma is sick."

In my little child self I said, "Will I catch it? I kissed her goodbye."

I remember when I fell off a flat bed trailer and cut the back of my head. It comes in flashes for I went in and out of it.

I reached for the handle, it turned, and I fell hitting my head on the red rocks under Grandpa's trees. I tried to crawl and call for help, but I couldn't hear anything. I looked up to see Grandma grab Mommy's arm and her mouth moved. I couldn't hear the word.

I laid down on my face because I felt so tired. Oh so tired.

*Flash* Someone was holding me running to the house and I was being joggled around. People were running beside us.

*Flash* I was sitting on Grandma's blue counter crying, "I want to go home!"

*Flash* I was being set down in the front seat of a car.

I don't remember anything again until I was back home with Daddy. He was placing me in the bathtub. I remember the water turned a brilliant red.

The hardest time of my life was when I was 7-8 years old. Mommy was pregnant with Liberty and extremely sick. I don't like to think about that time. When I do the same feelings come back. The feelings of fear, tiredness, sadness, and worry. It was not a time in my life I wish I could relive.

My, as I write all these down, more and more memories keep flashing back! I thought I didn't have any memories to share like my Mom does about her berry picking days. Maybe they're not as exciting, but I do have some!

Guess I shall stop my stroll now, or it may continue right on into the sky!